We all desire to be accepted. Whether it is in our workforce, in our family, school, or church. The list goes on. But why? Why do we "need" to feel accepted by others?
Do they hold some sort of magical power over us? Do they pay our bills and make vital decisions for us? No. Okay, granted, the feeling of being "seen and heard" or being "understood," is good. When people like us, it makes us feel all warm inside. Lol! But, we are forgetting something. We are forgetting that the most important person to accept us, is ourselves. We must learn to love ourselves before anyone else can.
So you had a terrible childhood or you are just stuck in a place; mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually; that you just can't seem to get out of... These things that have gone on or are going on in your life are for a reason. (I know, there are people out there who are reading this and question how everything happens for a reason-but here me out.). They aren't to make you feel unloved or not accepted. Hardships are do not occur in your life to make you feel not worthy. I know it is difficult to believe, but every day you wake up, you have the choice to have a good day or a bad one. (Granted, there are a few things that are out of our control.) If we choose to be constantly negative and not love ourselves-no one will want to be around us. When you are questioning why "no one accepts you," examine the reasons why.
Do you walk around with your head held down looking at the ground? Do you say things like, "I CAN'T do it," or "I'll NEVER be able to do this."? You are having a CAN'T attitude. Change it to a CAN attitude and I promise you will see a difference in how others perceive you.
With that being said, there might be people who are just rude. They could care less about you being in their clique. Be glad you aren't! You don't need those types of people in your life. They are destroyers of hope and love. They have narcissistic personalities and you need positive, fun, and up-beat, loving people surrounding you.
You don't have to be "accepted" into a popular group to know that you are one-of-a-kind and special. Like a star in the misty moonlight. However, you must let your light within you, shine. The right people-the people that SHOULD be in your life, will find you.
Life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. We are all growing and learning. You have the power to change your life-then you can start changing the world! Wow! Examine that thought. Doesn't that make you smile?!?!
How does this tie in with music? If we realize what is holding us back from personally being our best, we become more aware. In playing music, we must be aware at all times. This is where mindfulness comes into play. If we are sooooo wrapped up in, "why this," and "why me", and "poor me," then our music will sound like that. We will sound closed, scared, and hesitant because that's how we feel on the inside. How we play our music tells everyone how we feel. You want to make your audience feel something. But first, you always want to make them feel like they matter. They are the reason why we have "live venues." Without an audience, we don't have live music. Be open and free. Loving yourself will, in turn, help you become a stronger musician. It will also help surround you with the right people.
So don't worry about being "accepted." "Love you." Share your happiness and joy. See the beauty in all things. Shine. Change the world one smile at a time.
Fiddle on my friends,