"You're No Good, You're No Good, Baby, You're No Good.
It's autumn here in Nashville. The crisp mornings and gorgeous sun sets in the evenings--It's nothing like an East Texas September. However, the leaves change quicker here, the hiking trails become more beautiful, and music becomes easier to write. Change can be difficult but when I look outside and see how gracefully the leaves turn colors, I know that change is amazingly wild, crazy awesome, and gypsyly cool. (Yeah-I kinda just made of a word! Lol!)
I remember when I was 9 and I saw Burt Bacharach live...when I knew I wanted to not just play music but to write it as well. I bring this up often because it was my first real memory of going--"That's what I'm going to s for the rest of my life."
I was 15 when folk music kinda stole my heart. After that, different genres broke off pieces and kept them. When someone asks what style of music I play or prefer-I just say I'm genreless. Meaning I play and love everything. Some people may call that a cop-out but it's just the truth for me.
Do you have someone in your life that is an artist that struggles on a day to day basis? Are you that person? If you are, you'll most likely agree with what you are about to read, and if you are the supporter of an artist--this blog has been written for you.
When I perform, I feel free and vulnerable. Open to whatever comes my way. When I'm not performing, besides the everyday confidence that I have in myself and my craft--underneath is crippling self-doubt in my music. This isn't just me--It's pretty much every single artist of any type. If you wonder why we have self-doubt, it's because we carry many worries around with us. We have a little voice whispering in our minds-telling us--"You're no good, you're no good, baby, you're no good!" We don't see eye to eye with most people and most (not all) non-artists don't understand that this is our lifestyle not what we do for a hobby.
Some artists fear ones that are better than them; they go into jealous rages. Been around a few...they are toxic and don't belong in any artistic setting. Then there are those who give up-Visual and Performing Arts is a hard business to truly make a living in. There are people who have been working toward fame and fortune for 60 years and no doors have ever opened for them. Just know that it's not you when an artist is upset or worried-it's our own thing and we must deal with it our own way. When we freak out over the tiniest thing-again, please don't take it personally. If we do not get close and form bond with you instantly or in the next 5 years, it's because we don't trust often...we've been hurt a lot. We do happen to pretend everything is alright. We smile and laugh and when we get up on stage we are a completely different person--an amped up version of ourselves. When we get through with a show-that's when we need you the most. We will go insane as we think about all what went wrong instead of what went right. That's where your support comes in. If you want us to trust you fully--you have to help us in thinking only about the good. Be real and honest but give us a shoulder to cry on and after 10 mins, tell us to start practicing for the next show, write a new song...something that has to do with our craft because it's the only thing we truly know.
We can be moody, brass, sweet, and loving all at the same time. No we aren't crazy, just artistic. Our minds are a little different.
Please don't allow us to break our own hearts.
"She's mad because she's magic, there's no lie in her fire."
Fiddle on friends!